Holiday Policy Language: Christmas 2019

It’s time for another edition of holiday policy language, especially for Christmas 2019. This time, I felt it necessary to address a modern affliction that many people deal with. Some people love this time of year while others simply get through it. I’m convinced that the main reason that some deal with this time of year is TV.

There are channels that dedicate their programming to Christmas and other fall and winter holidays. While a great Christmas movie (such as It’s a Wonderful Life, White Christmas, or A Charlie Brown Christmas) is an event to gather the family around, the other holiday movie selections may not be that iconic. In truth, on some channels, you could watch Christmas themed movies all day every day from about November 1 through the end of the year and no one would say that any of those movies is iconic, classic, or even great.

It’s in that spirit that we propose the following additional coverage extension.

Extension of Coverage: Holiday Movie Overload

This endorsement changes coverage in several ways. Please read the entire endorsement to determine the existence and extent of coverage.

Definitions

“Holiday movie” means any motion picture of no less than 90 minutes’ duration with a year-end holiday theme, including, but not limited to Christmas, Hanukkah, and New Year’s Eve. A “holiday movie” may be a movie that originally was released in theaters, but now plays every year on television. “Made-for-TV” “holiday movies” include, but are not limited to, any network channel, cable channel, or streaming or download service.

“Holiday movie” does not include the following:

1. The first “holiday movie” of the year;
2. Movies that are new in theaters during the holiday season, except for any iteration of Frozen or Cats. Those qualify as holiday movie overload, no matter how many times you’ve seen either movie or any sequels made or planned;
3. Any holiday themed cartoon including, but not limited to: A Charlie Brown Christmas, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, or Santa Clause is Coming to Town;
4. It’s a Wonderful Life. It’s a classic and if that movie lends to any holiday movie overload for anyone, that person is excluded from all coverage parts since they are clearly a danger to themselves and possibly society at large; or
5. Any sporting events that occur from Thanksgiving through the end of the College Football Playoffs.

When a “holiday movie” overload occurs, the person or people who are experiencing “holiday movie” overload must state that they are experiencing “holiday movie” overload. This must be done in one of the following ways:

1. By exclaiming aloud so that the person who wants to watch another “holiday movie” can hear, “Really? Another Christmas movie?”, “Didn’t you watch this already this year?” or “I can’t handle this. I’m going (just about anywhere).”;
2. By leaving the room where the “holiday movie” is being shown and refusing to return to the sofa, even when chips and queso, chocolate chip cookies, or any other bribery other than changing the channel and surrendering the remote are offered; or
3. By stating, “I think there’s something interesting on CNN. Can we watch that and DVR this?”

Falling asleep, watching YouTube, playing video games, or scanning social media during the “holiday movie” are not considered “holiday movie” overload.

Covered Expenses

Once one of the preceding statements has been made, the following coverage extensions apply.

1. All expenses related to leaving the house until the end of the “holiday movie” overload occurrence ends, including food, lodging, gas, and tolls. These expenses are reimbursable on an actual loss sustained basis up to $1,000;
2. The cost to put a TV, couch, and small refrigerator in another room in the house on an actual cost incurred basis. This does not include the cost to build another room onto the house, renovate the basement or attic, or put a portable building anywhere in the yard. In the event that there is no room to add another TV in the house, we will pay the cost for noise cancelling headphones that will pair with your mobile phone, or the cost to go stay with one of your siblings; and
3. All expenses related to relationship the counseling that will be needed to mend any relationships that are damaged due to the “holiday movie” overload occurrence.

However, this coverage extension does not include coverage for any “bodily injury” or “property damage” related to the fight that happens after anyone declares a “holiday movie” overload, unless you did go to one of your sibling’s houses and they were watching a “holiday movie”, too.

This coverage extension is limited to one event per person per holiday season.

Additional premium may apply.

We hope that you’ve enjoyed this edition of holiday policy language and remember friends. Please remember that it’s a joke and no coverage is offered or provided by reading this blog. No insurance companies (that I know of) would provide this coverage anyway.

May you and your experience the love of family, friends, and food during this time of year.

Merry Christmas