Hand Gestures Create Attraction or Distance with Clients

When meeting with a client and discussing needs and services, you probably talk with your mouth as well as your hands, as most sales professionals are very animated.

What is important to know is that your clients will watch what you do before they listen to what you say. You spend time refining your verbal message, but how much time do you spend on nonverbal messages or body language? Do you even bother monitoring your body language when you are with clients? If not, you could be creating distance between you and the client, rather than attracting them to you and your products.

Research has found that certain hand gestures create more attraction than others. By understanding what you are doing to block a relationship with your client, you can take steps to minimize these gestures to fast-forward your relationship.

Let’s talk first about the hand gestures that distance you from your clients. I call these defensive hand gestures, and some of these may surprise you. The key thing to remember is that you must become aware of how you use your hands to block an effective interaction with your clients. By monitoring and making changes, you will increase your attraction to clients, and increase your emotional intelligence – a key skill for effective leadership. Leaders are what your clients are looking for. And, did I mention increasing your sales?

Here are the three defensive hand gestures and results.

Hands in your pockets. This pertains mostly to men, but I have seen some women who put their hands into their pockets. People are not attracted to this and wonder what you’re hiding. It also indicates uncertainty and nervousness. I have been told by many men that they put their hands in their pockets because they don’t know what else to do with them. If you watch your client closely, when you put your hands in your pockets, their eyes move from your face to your pockets. You have lost eye contact and they are wondering what you are hiding. People are not attracted to someone who has their hands in their pockets.

Crossing your arms/hands over your chest. We all know that this is perceived as defensive, yet so many of us do this. We say that it is comfortable to cross our arms/hands this way, and it’s true. When we move into defensive positions, it is a way to comfort ourselves but it creates distance with our clients. If you are cold, that is a different story. If you are cold, tell your client so there is no faulty judgment on their part. Better yet, dress more appropriately so you don’t encounter this situation.

Hands behind your back. Men and women serving in the military may have a tendency to stand at parade rest (hands behind the back), which is fine if you are talking with military personnel. But if not, this position is seen as arrogant, superior, defensive and distancing. When you stand with your hands behind your back, you create an uncertainty with your clients. They wonder: “What does s/he have behind her/his back?” When your client is concerned for perceived safety, s/he cannot create a relationship with you!

Your goal is to create a relationship with your clients to address their insurance needs and provide them with the products and services they need.

When your body is talking louder than your words, your clients hear the body language first and respond to that. These defensive gestures create distance from your clients, and that’s not what you need to create the relationship, be a leader for your clients and provide clients with what they need.

When you begin monitoring these defensive gestures and replace them with positive gestures, you will see your relationships change.