Office Civility

Article

Employers and employees alike should mind their ps and qs this year. As the presidential race heats up, so could discussions around the office water cooler and cubicles. Most of the responsibility for keeping workplace discussions civil falls on the shoulders of employees themselves. P.M. Forni, director of the Civility Initiative at The Johns Hopkins University, notes that most managers won’t legislate good manners or dampen debates. So he suggests that workers prepare their own strategy for handling these situations.

How do you defend yourself from intrusive questions? How do you voice your opinions in a way that is at the same time forceful and respectful? How can you avoid angry confrontations? Here are a few suggestions from Forni.

Decide whether you are game. Is this the time and place to engage in a discussion that may become heated? Consider the likely consequences. Are they worth your while? Will you end up revealing more than you wish to? Is someone baiting you? Do you have trouble remaining calm and collected in this kind of situation? You can always change the subject, excuse yourself or even state that you just prefer not to talk about politics right now.

Disclosing your position is not your only option. When asked how you intend to vote or what political beliefs you hold, you can answer, “Why would you want to know that?” Or “You know, I think that the fewer tags we give one another at work the better.” Or “I’m sure I’ll make up my mind before Election Day.” Or “I am really not comfortable discussing such a delicate matter at work.”

Be fair and respectful. If you do choose to discuss politics, give others the opportunity to state their opinions. Do not interrupt and do not ignore. Do listen to what the other person has to say. Acknowledge the points on which you agree. Do not use demeaning or abusive language. Elections come and go; your job remains (one would hope).

Do not presume agreement. Taking for granted that the political preferences of your coworkers will coincide with yours is not a good idea. Do not say to your boss: “So, sir, how are we going to make sure that X doesn’t win?” Maybe your boss wants X to win.

Keep your poise and be assertive. By expressing yourself with determination and poise, you will convey the strength of your convictions. If someone is bullying you, respond politely but firmly. You may say, “This is my opinion and I have given it a lot of thought.” “I would appreciate it if you did not raise your voice.” Or, “Well, let’s just accept that we have different opinions about this and move on.”

Editor’s note: P.M. Forni is the author of “Choosing Civility: The Twenty-five Rules of Considerate Conduct” and “The Civility Solution: What to Do When People Are Rude.”

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